There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and antisemitism
In the movies they always guess right when it’s time to cut the blue wire or the red wire on the ticking time bomb
A sliver of moon follows us home in the car How nice to be fooled
Today’s peace movement, in a nutsh… Do what we do Not what we say And we say we come in peace Because we’re mostly peaceful
The sign used to say: Gentlemen may remove their hats All others must Now it reads: Ladies and gentlemen may wear thei…
Much like God created the univers… Where before there was no universe… In this universe we find patterns Where, upon first glance There are no apparent patterns, ju…
The original version’s working title was The Giveth and Taketh Away Tree but Silverstein couldn’t get it published
On the internet You have to talk the talk Or you have to walk the plank In the world to come You have to talk the talk
The only way to know you’re not paranoid is to stay connected at all times so you can rest assured
The B is silent in subtle but spo… B-cause a B-ing B-comes human by saying the quiet… The B-all and end-all Is the B-ginning and the end
Inevitably my spirit vegetable was rutabaga
We treat life as if Postponing the inevitable When we should be busy Preparing for the inestimable
It didn’t matter that I’d been scrupulously carbon neutral; my interlocutors persisted until I realized that the desire to make… had left a vast carbon footprint o…
I can’t just let go of my past I have to lose a tug of war and get third degree rope burns
If you want to know what the quarantine was like for me walk a mile in my new leather sweatpants
