You’re supposed to love everybody but everybody knows that’s putting all of your eggs in one ba… so everybody eggs each other on in making a western omelet

You know a hipster is aging gracef… When he comes to see that Objects in mirror Are closer than they appear

People think that the spork didn’t include any aspects of the… because the serrated edge of the prospective all-in-one utensil kept slicing open the focus group…

The biggest change Since I found God Is who I am Trying to impress Which is how you know

My mistake was Worrying they would throw me to th… Which is how wolves in sheep’s clo… Herd sheep I only escaped when I learned

My corner of the internet may be infinitesimally small Not even a grain in a brick in the wall Yet still I’m a part

The question isn’t: Why is there something rather than nothing? It’s: Why does it mean something

The first half of life Is spent waiting for the inevitabl… But inevitably, you get distracted… Because a watched pot never boils The second half of life

If you can get what you want you’re selling yourself short

If you have to ask how much pursuing it will cost you then you’ve already given way on your desire

In a failed democracy the one thing both sides can agree on is that the real traitors are the loyal opposition

I won the day when my antagonist branded me a reactionary because, of course, I’m an overreactionary

Women give hints So that men will think It was their idea I’ve never been good at taking a h… But I’m good at following orders

Quick Draw McGraw taught us that in the wild wild west it’s better… shoot first and ask questions late… But Quick Bluff McGruff the Cyb… knows that on the World Wide Web…

I used to think the way it works i… if it’s true then you believe it Later, I thought if you believe it