When I got my first honey-do list after the wedding I explained to my bride that I us… until I was bitten by one of the 5… that don’t make webs

My grandfather built his house With his own hands And yet later in life Cut off half his thumb with a chai… If Alanis Morissette is right

The most surprising aspect of the… though perhaps it shouldn’t have b… was the amount of paperwork it gen…

The devil used to be a buyer of so… But now he’s a seller To the Big Five tech companies Because the money is just too good How does the devil sell

Climate change is just the latest chapter in our ever-ending story

I was happy alone Because being together Meant being lonely Until you showed me That being together

I know I think, Therefore I am All knowing Unless

If I’ve said it once they’ve liked it a thousand times

A dissident today is anyone who realizes that since you’re damned if you do damned if you don’t

I was never one for playing the field but I was really good at standing on the sideline worrying over my equipment

A record sounds the same every time you play it A broken record is intolerable because it isn’t broken, it’s just…

God already knows Where this is all going But it’s up to all of us How we get there

The only stipulation they put on our capitulation was against any abrogation in accepting their congratulations

Upon dying peacefully in my sleep surrounded by family after a long, prosperous life the Grim Reaper looked at me and… I’m glad to see you’ve arrived saf…

I may not be the man who has everything but I’m the man who knows what to get for the man who has everything