You and God are like socks– No matter how far apart you get You are still a pair You and God are also like pants– Even though you are forever one

Instead of using our flashlights to move through the wilderness in the dark, slowly we believe that if we just keep shining them about the dark forest

If nothing is possible Because of the inevitable– We mortals all die in the end– Then we are left to do the impossi… And become immortal by

When I got my first honey-do list after the wedding I explained to my bride that I us… until I was bitten by one of the 5… that don’t make webs

Slow and steady wins the race because there isn’t any finish line

We all know what time it is– It’s time to get to work Unless it’s Shabbos Which is timeless Making Shabbos the whole

People who enter a plea of I’m sorry if you were offended are bargaining for a sentence of time served reckoning they’ll have got off sco…

In the past they randomly distributed blanks amongst the firing squad so that you’d never know if you were really executing enemy…

Everything on the internet is too… To call Leaving everything undecided But for this– We should all be worried

As the enormous asteroid hurtled toward Earth I found myself working harder than ever

I have a bad habit of predicting the future; it has kept me alive but only to fight another day And yes, my brain is pattern-seeki…

Notice how the giraffe evolved so that its neck is precisely long… to reach the water when it bends d…

This world is backwards And reverse is the only way forwar… How do we put it in reverse When everything is backwards? By rediscovering our drive

Men require 613 mitzvos to cleave… As tightly as God cleaves to them Which is indivisibly Women, born closer to God Require just 599 mitzvos to cleave…

The new Speech Code prohibits use of the phrase “Speak for yourself” due to its aggressive tone and threatening connotations