It’s a lot easier for men to dwell in the mystery of what a woman wants than to acknowledge what it is exactly that

Looking back on college it’s unclear if I was a party animal party mineral or party vegetable

My astrologer credited her work wi… for the discovery of a thirteenth… Jello the Jellyfish which shares the sting of my erstw… but is distinguished by a spineles…

We hit it off: she’d declawed her cats and I’d plucked my cacti’s needles

You start out needing money to advance your ideology but you end up mouthing your ideol… to rake in more money

The lie you chose to believe Always contains the truth That has chosen you The lie is comforting Because the truth is disturbing

Given a ship that would never sink we proceeded to run it aground in search of

Who says ye cannae change the laws… Where before Every action had An equal and opposite reaction Now every reaction

The difference between poisonous snakes and venomous human beings is that when the snake bites you and explains

Coffee is for the middle-aged; we need both to shit and get shit done

Time is relentless. Are you?

Like everyone else I dealt with My anonymity By becoming A recluse

They let Potter get away with any… but somehow I get expelled for flo… that a wizard can’t have the same… even though zero (magic) is only half as large as double ze…

Al Gore didn’t invent the internet He created a device for the reinforcement of irrational thoughts and behaviors