You know a hipster is aging gracef… When he comes to see that Objects in mirror Are closer than they appear

You will know You are in the fight of your life When fighting it Is more important Than winning it

You can’t put a square peg in a round hole but you can put a JPEG in a memory hole

The culture war is a cyber war where you can’t tell that you’re behind enemy lines until you’re compelled to read your lines

Money is an illusion that fools al… We only have one currency to spend And it is time At the time of judgment day We will only be asked one question…

Relationships are built on trust And the problem isn’t that we cybo… Don’t trust the other side Which was always vanishingly rare But that we don’t trust our own si…

They say seeing is believing but believing is doing so, logically, seeing is doing and I see what you’re doing so, I know what you believe

They call it open heart surgery But no one says open brain surgery Because, by default Our minds are closed And the only way to change minds

Fox News said it was “Fair and B… which supposedly meant that it was… because it was balanced but really it meant that it was fa… because it wasn’t balanced–

At the very beginning of the Tora… Just after enabling the light God separated the waters of the de… And of the heavens (rendered into… With the land

People are like whales who have gotten sick of plankton

The new Speech Code prohibits use of the phrase “Speak for yourself” due to its aggressive tone and threatening connotations

I have half a mind to lose my mind and half a mind to find God The question, natch

I don’t believe in myself So, I must control God I believe in God So, I can control myself

In the story of The boy who cried wolf There was no wolf Until there was And there still is