Tom Brady keeps a portrait of him… that is becoming progressively more likable

When I put a period at the end of my text message it means that

In the face of loss I staved off loss of control by gainsaying a loss for words

Because bodies make a fart joke of… etiquette used to dictate that whe… passed gas at, e.g., a dinner part… the polite thing to do was to pret… the fart never happened

When my dog gives me that knowing… I don’t know what she knows I only know that she knows Who I’m fooling And it isn’t her

When God says Do what you want He knows You’re going to anyway His risk is betting you want

If you cut off an arm you are left with a stump to which you affix a prosthetic If you cut off a face you are left with a mask

Of late I always feel like I just got off one of the spinning rides at the county fair but that’s just the sensation of civilization accelerating as it

My wife is philosophically opposed to my habit of justifying things, say a bag of the really good kind… with the phrase: I deserve it

Maya Angelou says we have one hand to help others and one hand to help ourselves

Our mistake is in believing That a lifetime of events Come varyingly in one of two forms… Blessing or curse When in truth

I’m getting much better at recognizing my wife’s subtle hi… like when she recently put mosquit… over her side of the bed

Descartes wanted certainty He got it Now we’re stuck with it Uncertain how we get unstuck Does this mean we’re doomed or sav…

I thought I was choosing between Life and death When really, I was choosing betwe… First and last place So, when I thought I chose life

It didn’t matter that I’d been scrupulously carbon neutral; my interlocutors persisted until I realized that the desire to make… had left a vast carbon footprint o…