Life is short because God knows to leave us wanting more

Thanks to his bifocals Ben Franklin could see that while we might look like bald… up close we’re clearly turkeys

Self-discipline is The only real self-indulgence Everything else is self-abnegation

When the doyennes of progressive a… “From the river to the sea is an a… human rights, and peaceful coexist… Bernard-Henri Levy helpfully tran… “‘From the river to the sea’, whic…

The opposite of failure Isn’t success It’s epic failure

I’ve started blind copying my wife on emails to myself

In the new version of socialism You can own as much property as yo… You just can’t own your mistakes

We all know that one word or phras… Can mean two different things But we forget that one thing Can mean two different words or ph… To wit

My wife is R2-D2 Which, of course Makes me C-3PO She is constantly getting us into… In order to save us from ourselves

“You want fries with that?” used to be a line to mock the working poor How ironic that “You want fries with that?”

Much like nuclear weapons the whole point of having vacation days is never to use them

I want what you want so I want a cow

The truth staring us in the face Is always our own reflection– Seeing ourselves backwards Providing just enough distance For us to acknowledge the truth

The most useful secret agents Are those who don’t know the secre… That they are agents of warfare

The wrong crowd used to let things get out of control Now the wrong crowd has the best