Blood is thicker than water Unless it’s blood From a turnip
In inter-family feuds eventually the gloves come off but in intra-family feuds the masks come off
Pay attention to what is said: “One day we hope to enable every p… to feel as strong a sense of conne… as you feel when you’re physically with someone you love”
I know a guy who knows Paul Simon who told me the real reason for th… was that Paul got sick of Garfunk… stalling for thyme
It was all systems go in my search for a new belief syst… until I realized all systems go too far
When randomness blends with lawfulness you get the Loch Ness
There’s no time like the present: Do it now Like, there’s no time like the pre… Do it now, but from an ironic dist… There’s no time to like the presen…
Funny how as the left lost its sense of humor it became a joke
The funny thing is if you’re continually nervous about getting into a wreck you become a nervous wreck and then
A funny thing happened when I told them that you can either laugh or you can cr… No one laughed but for a second
Every night when I go to sleep my dreams fulfill my dearest wishe… so that I can make it through anot… But the metaverse is a dreamscape where your avatar is only allowed…
The sloth’s plangent gaze confirms what we already know: The eighth deadly sin is haste
It turns out that the afterlife is only as long as you can keep the exit interview go…
When I got to the front of the self-checkout line I assumed there’d be a mirror but to my surprise and delight it was even better than I’d hoped
I couldn’t believe that my first e… was still carrying a torch for me and then I saw all my other ex’s b… carrying a pitch fork
