The universe is a kinetic watch so time only keeps going if we’re on the move making Zeno’s paradox of motion just a way of reassuring ourselves

I risked loss And lost; I win

I’m not aware of the lies I tell myself Who is?!? But the white lies

The one thing postmodernists know… is that the surest way to control… is to convince people there are no… prompting an endless chain of seco… while provoking so much anxiety

The high strung flaneur gives free advice to the good and good advice to the free

The dream has always been To build a time machine And go back in time To change the present But some things never change–

All self-help books boil down to this: You can’t fold a piece of paper more than 7 times but if you could fold it 103 times

The only reason that people wear clothes is because they have language

The Fed has one lever to pull– interest rates– to keep all of us consuming

The world is An interrogation room And God is behind The two-way mirror

Beginner is talking yourself into doing what you are going to do anyway Advanced is talking yourself out of doing

The US Constitution rules out cruel and unusual punishment but that and a nickel will get you 1% of a cup of coffee now that cruelty is the usual

When I got my first honey-do list after the wedding I explained to my bride that I us… until I was bitten by one of the 5… that don’t make webs

The pursuit of fame is the human equivalent of a dog chasing its own tail

Everybody impersonates who they used to be but only some are impostors