God’s loyalty is only matched By His Demands The most demanding of which is equ… And by His rewards The most rewarding of which remain…

I hope to live several decades more making it odd to know so very well what they’ll put

We don’t understand our childhoods so we spend our adult lives reenacting them in the hope that an outside observer

You can’t cut the cord When you are the cord Connecting what you’ve been told y… With How you will inflict that burden o…

Coffee is for the middle-aged; we need both to shit and get shit done

The sloth’s plangent gaze confirms what we already know: The eighth deadly sin is haste

While I was waiting for them to come to their senses they came to my house

When the devil told me “Fuck-up is a noun And so are you” I didn’t know if he meant I’m also a fuck-up

In Putin’s version of Let’s Make… he shows you what’s behind Door #1… - You let Putin run you through w… AND what’s behind Door #2: - You fall on your sword to atone…

The best way to control somebody Is to divide the mind from the bod… Because the body is where the soul…

I survived my humiliation By treating it like a joke Through becoming a joke myself In order to in turn survive my bec… I became a running joke

Marriage is the only place I’m neither feature nor bug but both

Guilty, I’d pled when left for dead for what I had said but as the undead squeezed my bonehead

If you want to remain married one partner should stay busy moving the goalposts while the other focuses on running out the clock

No sooner were the gates free of b… than we’d paired off and squared off as fascists vs. totalitarians And as for the dissidents not spoi…