We have achieved the classless society: eve– rything is tacky
They can’t kick sand in your face if your head is al– ready in the sand
The sign used to say: Gentlemen may remove their hats All others must Now it reads: Ladies and gentlemen may wear thei…
God’s command to cells was slightly different: be fruitful and divide
Hook-up apps have given intimacy all the allure of an oil change
She went to law school; I bet it all on brick ov– en pita and lost
Everybody impersonates who they used to be but only some are impostors
As you age getting enough exercise in futility becomes more and more a portent
We all need to belong somewhere So, we formed online communities And found ourselves belonging nowh… Where once A multitude of One
None of us can see further than our own noses but Pinocchio can see further than the rest of us
Meatheads of the world Unite; No one else can
You have bathed in the Fountain o… Every time you wash off the sweat After a hard day’s work
You need a high in– come to claim the moral high ground on your taxes
What do all apples have in common? It only takes one rotten apple to… Because all apples are unique But a mob of apples are uniquely b…
Life is a test but I’d been treating it like a quiz– which is a preparation for a test– under the assumption that when I d…
