Note that the male tes– tes are exactly the size of small potatoes

Happiness is the moment after the weight of the world is lifted from your shoulders and before it lands on your toe

If I could put Just one thing In a time capsule It would be A crystal ball

I thought I was choosing between Life and death When really, I was choosing betwe… First and last place So, when I thought I chose life

In wristwatch advertisements the doomsday clock is always set to ten past ten

They say if you expect disappointment then you will never be disappointed But I say

It’s always a bad idea To admit you have no idea Put another way: No idea is a bad idea You get the idea

With all other things human beings must guard against what is too good to be true in order to stay alive With God

Never get greedy Always cut your losses And remember that it’s better to be lucky than good and it’s bad luck to be so good th…

There’s always an excuse So, there’s never an excuse For running out of excuses

We can be given responsibility by God but we can only take control

If you travel through time it’s always the best of times and the worst of times; it’s just the ratio

Denial was a lot easier when your head was in the clouds but your memories were stored on microfiche

With organized religion there is a method to the madness In a rational society there is a madness to the method

As the public version of one’s pri… social media is the recurring drea… of showing up at work without any… come true