I’ve wasted most of my life wondering Why do I believe in God? when I should have been asking Why does God believe in me?

Thinking the best of myself My best thinking Got me here, Before God

When I got to the front of the self-checkout line I assumed there’d be a mirror but to my surprise and delight it was even better than I’d hoped

Funny how as the left lost its sense of humor it became a joke

A charmed half-life is the time taken to lower your expectations to half their original value

We all know what time it is– It’s time to get to work Unless it’s Shabbos Which is timeless Making Shabbos the whole

The difference between A garden variety bullshitter And a bullshit artist Is that bullshitting is easy But a bullshit artist

The pleasure in a magic show is wondering how the magician did it

You can’t take both forks in the road but you can overpack

In the face of loss I staved off loss of control by gainsaying a loss for words

The ugly duckling Is not a duck But he is a lucky duck

I was never one for playing the field but I was really good at standing on the sideline worrying over my equipment

I won the day when my antagonist branded me a reactionary because, of course, I’m an overreactionary

Not one of us Has all the answers But we all Have all the answers Because there is only

The wait is heavy So, I choose to carry a heavy wei… And where the wait is exhausting The weight is strengthening As long as I rest between lifts o…