since my last name was Fuch, he said to Raymond, you can
believe the school yard was tough: they put itching
powder down my neck, threw gravel at me, stung me
with rubber bands in class, and outside they called
me names, well, one name mainly, over and over,
and on top of all that my parents were poor, I wore
cardboard in my shoes to fill in the holes in the
soles, my pants were patched, my shirts threadbare;
and even my teachers ganged up
on me, they slammed my
palm with rulers and sent me to the principal’s office as
I was really guilty of something;
and, of course, the abuse kept coming from my classmates;
was stoned, beaten, pissed on;
the little girls hissed and stuck their tongues out
at me...
Fuch’s wife smiled sadly at Raymond: my poor darling husband had
such a terrible childhood!
she was so beautiful it almost stunned one to look at
her.)
Fuch looked at Raymond: hey, your glass is empty.
yeah, said Raymond.
Fuch touched a button and the English butler silently
glided in. he nodded respectfully to Raymond and in his
beautiful accent asked, another drink, sir?
yes, please, Raymond answered.
the butler went off to prepare the drink.
what hurt most, of course, continued Fuch, was the name
calling.
Raymond asked, have you never forgotten it?
did for a while, but then strangely I began to
miss the abuse...
the butler returned carrying Raymond’s
drink on a silver tray.
here is your drink, sir, said the butler.
thank you, said Raymond, taking it off the tray.
o.k., Paul, Fuch said to the butler, you can
start now.
now? asked the butler.
now, came the answer.
the butler stood in front of Fuch and screamed:
fucky-boy! fucky-baby! fuck-face! fuck-brain!
where did your name come from, fuck-head?
how come you’re such a fuck-up?
etc....
they all started laughing uncontrollably
as the butler delivered his tirade in that
beautiful British accent.
they couldn’t stop laughing, they fell out of their
chairs and got down on the rug, pounding it and
laughing, Fuch, his lovely young wife and Raymond
in that sprawling mansion overlooking the shining sea.
Other works by Charles Bukowski...
