Charles Bukowski

Post Office. Chapter III: 10

The funeral was to be at 10:30 a.m. but it was already hot. I had on a cheap black suit, bought and fitted in a rush. It was my first new suit in years. I had located the son. We drove along in his new Mercedes-Benz. I had traced him down with the help of a slip of paper with the address of his father-in-law on it. Two long distance calls and I had him. By the time he had driven in, his mother was dead. She died while I was making the phone calls. The kid, Larry, had never fit into the society thing. He had a habit of stealing cars from friends, but between the friends and the judge he managed to get off. Then the army got him, and somehow he got into a training program and when he got out he walked into a good-paying job. That’s when he stopped seeing his mother, when he got that good job.

“Where’s your sister?” I asked him.

“I don’t know.”

“This is a fine car. I can’t even hear the engine.”

Larry smiled. He liked that.

There were just 3 of us going to the funeral: son, lover and the subnormal sister of the owner of the hotel. Her name was Marcia. Marcia never said anything. She just sat around with this inane smile on her lips. Her skin was white as enamel. She had a mop of dead yellow hair and a hat that would not fit. Marcia had been sent by the owner in her place. The owner had to watch the hotel.

Of course, I had a very bad hangover. We stopped for coffee.

Already there had been trouble with the funeral. Larry had had an argument with the Catholic priest. There was some doubt that Betty was a true Catholic. The priest didn’t want to do the service. Finally it was decided that he would do half a service. Well, half a service was better than none.

We even had trouble with the flowers. I had bought a wreath of roses, mixed roses, and they had been worked into a wreath. The flower shop spent an afternoon making it. The lady in the flower shop had known Betty. They had drank together a few years earlier when Betty and I had the house and dog. Delsie, her name was. I had always wanted to get into Delsie’s pants but I never made it.

Delsie had phoned me. “Hank, what’s the matter with those bastards?”

“Which bastards?”

“Those guys at the mortuary.”

“What is it?”

“Well, I sent the boy in the truck to deliver your wreath and they didn’t want to let him in. They said they were closed. You know, that’s a long drive up there.”

“Yeah, Delsie?”

“So finally they let the boy put the flowers inside the door but they wouldn’t let him put them in the refrigerator. So the boy had to leave them inside the door. What the hell’s wrong with those people?”

“I don’t know. What the hell’s wrong with people everywhere?”

“I won’t be able to be at the funeral. Are you all right, Hank?” “Why don’t you come by and console me?”

“I’d have to bring Paul.”

Paul was her husband.

“Forget it.”

So there we were on our way to 1/2 a funeral.

Larry looked up from his coffee. “I’ll write you about a head– stone later. I don’t have any more money now.”

“All right,” I said.

Larry paid for the coffees, then we went out and climbed into the Mercedes-Benz.

“Wait a minute,” I said.

“What is it?” asked Larry.

“I think we forgot something.”

I walked back into the cafe.

“Marcia.”

She was still sitting at the table.

“We’re leaving now, Marcia.” She got up and followed me out.

The priest read his thing. I didn’t listen. There was the coffin. What had been Betty was in there. It was very hot. The sun came down in one yellow sheet. A fly circled around. Halfway through the halfway funeral two guys in working clothes came carrying my wreath. The roses were dead, dead and dying in the heat, and they leaned the thing up against a nearby tree. Near the end of the service my wreath leaned forward and fell flat on its face. Nobody picked it up. Then it was over. I walked up to the priest and shook his hand, “Thank you.” He smiled. That made two smiling: the priest and Marcia.

On the way in, Larry said again:

“I’ll write you about the headstone.”

I’m still waiting for that letter.

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