here things are tough but
they’re mostly always tough.
basically I’m just trying to get along
with the female. when you
first meet them their eyes
are all moist with understanding;
laughter abounds
like sand fleas. then, Jesus,
time tinkles on and
things leak. they
start BOOMING out DEMANDS.
and, actually, what they
demand is basically contrary to whatever
you are or could be.
what’s so strange is the sudden
knowledge that they’ve never
read anything you’ve written,
not really read it at
all. or worse, if they have,
they’ve come to SAVE
you! which means mainly
wanting you to act like everybody
else and be just like them
and their friends. meanwhile
they’ve sucked
you up and wound you up
in a million webs, and
being somewhat of a
feeling person you can’t
help but remember their
good side or the side
that at first seemed to be good.
and so you find yourself
alone in your
bedroom grabbing your
gut and saying, o, shit
no, not again.
we should have known.
maybe we wanted cotton
candy luck. maybe we
believed. what trash.
we believed like dogs
believe.
Other works by Charles Bukowski...
