Our man was there to meet us, Gary Benson. He also wrote poetry and drove a cab. He was very fat but at least he didn’t look like a poet, he didn’t look North Beach or East Village or l...

It was hot that night at the reading, which was to be held at St. Mark’s Church. Tammie and I sat in what was used as the dressing room. Tammie found a full-length mirror leaning agains...

We got back to 1010. I had my check. I’… “They knew who I was,” she said. “Somet… They had known who she was all right. S… There was a knock on the door. Two peop… He wore sandals and old torn bluejeans;…

The next morning Tammie found a prescri… “What happened here?” “Well, you know my brother, he’s a pill… “I know your brother. He owes me twenty… “Well, he tried to get this prescription…

Back in L.A., there was almost a week o… rang. It was the owner of a Manhattan B… “Chinaski, I want you to read a week fr… Rock groups played there. It was a diff… “Chinaski,” Marty said, "you think you…

I took Tammie. We got there a little ea… “Now don’t drink too much, Hank. You kn… “At last,” I said, “you’re talking sens… “You’re afraid of the audience, aren’t y… “Yes, but it’s not stagefright. It’s th…

Want something to drink?" Marty asked. “I’ll have a beer,” I said. “I’ll have a Stinger,” said Tammie. “Get a seat for her, put her on the tab,… “All right. We’ll set her up. We’re S.…

It was a Wednesday night, 12:30 am and… Even though I was ill it seemed, finall… There was a knock on the door. I opened… “Let’s go to a dirty movie,” said Jay. Filbert just sat there. He had a black…

That evening the phone rang. It was Mercedes. I had met her after giving a poetry reading at Venice Beach. She was about 28, fair body, pretty good legs, a blonde about 5~feet-5, a blue...

I went up to Tammie’s place with my cardboard cartons. First I got the items she mentioned. Then I found other things—other dresses and blouses, shoes, an iron, a hair dryer, Dancy’s cl...

Four or five days passed. The phone ran… “What do you want?” I asked. “Listen, Hank. You know that little bri… “Yes.” “Well, right by there they’re having a y…

I drank for the next week. I drank night and day and wrote 25 or 30 mournful poems about lost love. It was Friday night when the phone rang. It was Mercedes. “I got married,” she said, ...

My drinking slowed down the next week. I went to the racetrack to get fresh air and sunshine and plenty of walking. At night I drank, wondering why I was still alive, how the scheme wor...

I had to fly to Illinois to give a reading at the University. I hated readings, but they helped with the rent and maybe they helped sell books. They got me out of east Hollywood, they g...

That night I gave another bad reading. I didn’t care. They didn’t care. If John Cage could get one thousand dollars for eating an apple, I’d accept $500 plus air fare for being a lemon....

I was back in L.A. about a week and a h… “Christ, Cecelia, I don’t know what to… “I’m so glad you came when you did. Bil… “What happened?” “He complained of feeling real bad and w…

A month went by. R.A. Dwight, the editor of Dogbite Press wrote and asked me to do a foreword to Keesing’s Selected Poems. Keesing, with the help of his death, was at last going to get ...

That night I managed to get 2 or 3 drinks into Cecelia. She forgot herself and crossed her legs high and I saw some good heavy flank. Durable. A cow of a woman, cow’s breasts, cow’s eye...

Bobby and Valerie came by and I introdu… “Valerie and I are going to take a vaca… “No, Bobby, I don’t think so.” “Oh, Hank, please!” said Cecelia. “I j… “Fine,” said Bobby. "We leave this even…

We continued drinking. Cecelia had just… “I want to go out and look at the moon a… “All right, Cecelia.” She went outside by the swimming pool an… “No wonder Bill died,” I said. “He sta…

A sound awakened me. It was not quite d… “It’s 5 am. What are you doing?” “I want to watch the sun come up. I lov… “No wonder you don’t drink.” “I’ll be back. We can have breakfast to…

Cecelia sat and watched us drink. I could see that I repulsed her. I ate meat. I had no god. I liked to fuck. Nature didn’t interest me. I never voted. I liked wars. Outer space bored m...

I had agreed to give a reading up north. It was the afternoon before the reading and I was sitting in an apartment at the Holiday Inn drinking beer with Joe Washington, the promoter, an...

I had been corresponding with a lady in San Francisco for several months. Her name was Liza Weston and she survived by giving dance lessons, including ballet, in her own studio. She was...

When I awakened it was 1:30 pm. I took a bath, got dressed, checked the mail. A letter from a young man in Glendale. "Dear Mr. Chinaski: I am a young writer and I think that I am a good...

I was sitting in my shorts one afternoon a week later. There was a tender little knock on the door. “Just a moment,” I said. I put on a robe and opened the door. “We’re two girls from G...

I was asked to give a reading at a famous nightclub, The Lancer, on Hollywood Boulevard. I agreed to read two nights. I was to follow a rock group, The Big Rape, each night. I was getti...

So I was surprised when the phone rang… “Just sitting around. ...” “Why don’t you come over?” “I’d like to. ...” She gave me the address, it was either…

Three or four days later I found her note and phoned Debra. She said, “Come on over.” She gave me the directions to Playa del Rey and I drove over. She had a small rented house with a f...

The next day was Saturday and Debra coo… “All right.” “Are you hungover?” she asked. “Not too bad.” We ate in silence for a while, then she…

After Debra left for work the next morning I bathed, then tried to watch t.v. I walked around naked and noticed that I could be seen from the street through the front window. So I had a...

I didn’t do much the rest of the week. The Oaktree meet was on. I went to the track 2 or 3 times, broke even. I wrote a dirty story for a sex mag, wrote 10 or 12 poems, masturbated, and...

The reading in Vancouver went through, $500 plus air fare and lodging. The sponsor, Bart Mcintosh, was nervous about crossing the border. I was to fly to Seattle, he’d meet me there and...

Wednesday night found me at the airport waiting for Iris. I sat around and looked at the women. None of them—except for one or two—looked as good as Iris. There was something wrong with...

On Thanksgiving Iris prepared the turkey and put it in the oven. Bobby and Valerie came over for a few drinks but they didn’t stay. It was refreshing. Iris had on another dress, just as...

Not much happened during the rest of her stay. We drank, we ate, we fucked. There were no arguments. We took long drives down along the shore, ate at seafood cafes. I didn’t bother with...

I got a letter in the mail. It was addressed from Hollywood. Dear Chinaski: I’ve just read almost all your books. I work as a typist in a place on Cherokee Ave. I’ve hung your picture i...

I saw Sara every three or four days, at her place or at mine. We slept together but there was no sex. We came close but we never quite got to it. Drayer Baba’s precepts held strong. We ...

Sara was preparing the turkey dressing a… The phone rang. I went and got it. It w… “Thank you, Debra. And a happy Santa C… We talked awhile, then I went back and… “Who was that?”

New Year’s Eve was another bad night for me to get through. My parents had always delighted in New Year’s Eve, listening to it approach on the radio, city by city, until it arrived in L...

I had been corresponding with Tanya and on the evening of January 5th she phoned. She had a high excited sexy voice like Betty Boop used to have. “I’m flying down tomorrow evening. Will...

When I awakened a few hours later, Tany… “Jesus, you start early.” “I always wake up at 6 am and I get up.… “I always get up at noon. We’re going t… Tanya hit the whiskey and I went back t…

I took Tanya to Santa Anita. The current sensation was a 16 year old jockey still riding with his 5 pound bug advantage. He was from the east and was riding at Santa Anita for the first...

I took Tanya to the airport the next af… “I’ll write you,” said Tanya. “All right.” “Do you think I’m a chippy?” “No. You love sex and there’s nothing w…