The Rude Funeral Guest
Has the funeral ended?
or has it just began.
Its okay i wanted to stop by just to greet or shake a hand
its dim in here perfect for hiding the tears on so few faces
oh, i didnt know her well
yes, nice to meet you too
youve heard of me and ive heard of you
im certain that what youve heard of me aint quite true
well goodbye my condolences to you
not many here yet did she know of many?
oh new around these parts?
a fancy of many?
because of true gifts?
or was she just someone to talk about?
no i knew her none too well
when told abot her sometimes
i felt she had a soul for sell
i wouldnt know i didnt know her myself
thought we may be family?
oh no can you not tell?
well the world is like that sometimes
its strange out-oh im sorry farewell
I hate to hear such things
she was known quite well for the company she brings
forgive me if i do not share the same sentiment as you
even frequenting the same places we knew eachother in no way true
and if I am honest I hear she did me however more bad than any good
And you?
her there in that coffin which for an hour youve over it stood
through no fault of her own of course as I understand
She’s not dead by her own hand
I can’t see myself taking my own ever
I’m not just being clever
Just not in my nature much yet heard it was hers
So no matter our likeness
She had no strength
And I never noticed my weak
I Know its there
But look at it to long an you’re too blind too seek
it will take you to the brink
But even then I wouldnt jump
No it’s just not in me l don’t think.
Even if life is only wrong and my ship can only sink
I’d still swim from the middle of the sea
Before I gave up. Exhaustion
til I bleed
But you never know
Still if she did
No, it was not the fault of you and the other small number here in this room
dimly lit not just for the dead
Just dim
Enough i can’t read the eye in their head
but just everyone’s oddly new tattoo that’s says
“I tried to help, I really did!”
Odd in her journals I heard she never mentions a single name said
In that visitors book
Like she wasn’t real at all
A whisp, ghost, unreal a reflection pale
A hopeful image, an answer to tell
a scapegoat to take not her but their own sins to hell.
But it matters little, honestly hell it’s like she wasn’t even real.
Oh am I rude to say so?
Sorry, I guess I get weird at such things
When we mourn someone everyone loves to talk about and blame but no one even knows
This here is the kind of dead that changes and grows
While alive every day
To this to that. Bigger and better
Hidden while never
all rumors to sever
as she heard the hidden exchanges
Changing and morphing her to their own hateful self image
Deflecting and projecting them right onto her quite clueless visage
I did hear though that she never said a word
even though the people had a different thing to say
One thing different and foolish every new day
Making her more myth than her there that lay
Everyone looks a little scared too be around the dead
It says i think
i want to follow the lie
says id rather tear down what i misunderstand
She’s more myth than human and a more symbol than myth
She would calling out her aggressor still plead the fifth
But that’s not the way people ever said
No, any traits?
she shared her to I?
Even my worst ones
Never a word truly said
And what me nothing alike to her?
I know her so little it’s hard to concur
Yes I agree our likeness is uncanny
But the things I had ever even heard about and there were so many
Made her a Mystery and stranger
Why would we rather say something is a danger
The more powerful it is?
That it’s bad or cruel
All hate great strength that glares with good
So this one here I heard she was a monster and the worst of them to.
Strong somehow to be so
Yet weak to do any
Now which is it none could keep any
Lies making sense
As long as it’s off at her expense.
But what’s it to all?
What’s it to you?
I don’t even know why I am here
But maybe, just Maybe, I honestly do.
you are only mourning her here knowing she represented such lies
and when they pass we know exactly why it is these type of people die
we kill them ourselves
A shadow of ourselves?
We carry that all our lives
No, but a shadow of someone else’s lies
Another’s narrow view
A person gains another doppelgänger
That’s not quite the same hue
Who look somewhat similar but is quite the stranger.
Why do I seem quick to anger?
Well maybe it’s that i know who killed her
And was certainly glad to.
sure i can see it on her, a look of dubious shock
no there was no broken glass blood on the floor or any picked lock
no, not silenced by a bullet, poison or knife
i simply lived louder and told of my life
I killed her by screaming out not hate but laughing out all the anti-lie
Just by being me and smilin alive
By taking punches while down and being able to thrive.
I’ll alchemize
And those lies were so far off
They weren’t a disguise
They were so far that they created another persons guise
So it didn’t even hurt when I killed her with somewhat muted sighs
Too keep myself from smiling in the face of which
only knows how to die
When things come along and make one cry
Stand up and at least try
Without lie after lie
To save your own soul
Even if youre looked at, judged
It’s only for a moment
Then the sharks smell new blood
Who care who pricks their finger
when there’s already growing
A green and fresh bud
In the wilted rose drug through the mud
Be a salmon
Built for survival, never hunger in famine.
for the woman laying dead here though I mourn her not
there is something there laying yes vaguely familiar
and im sure id find something if i could hear her
for though vastly different
likenesses there are
in the voice, the skin, the eyes, why even feet
Something in the whispers meant kept discreet
Is a likeness but soon screamed over the self
for the corpse laying here is a version of myself
so carelessly assumed that you created of me
to somehow make your days easier a bribe where you agreed
to make beleiveable but with easier points to attach a lie
so the attention could be off who all truly needed to be seen
but you needed to stay up living high
so you you created someone beneath you
And the worst of you blamed it on the easiest to put the dirty deed.
What ugliness is greed
except before asking you actually tried
to make this me
when you created it so far from me
it wasnt me any longer
Definitely not who anyone was searching for to much in me
No they didnt exist
Even when lingered a loud persist
And you.
How sweet, how safe
If it failed who best to blame?
But who cares of a name?
The higher they go the less their shame
I’ll have no one but the truly guilty
Go down in my name
So I killed her slowly, loudly and quietly
And never said a name
Not to any great notice nor anyone’s shame
I know I know, it was all just a game.
Now it’s lost
Is it checkers or chess?
Well I threw the board in the furnace
They just don’t know it yet
So I must leave now to all, god bless
I mean if
Slowed down on the lies?
and she might still exist
but too late now we have all but lost her
Good, as it was my intent
She was a falsehood bent
By foolish notion
I’ll blame not the wicked emotion
For I’m too capable of that myself
No I blame the cold falsified years of thought out stress
All to bring pressure, pain and death under duress.
How could you be so blind to know nothing of me?
yet so close share my breath?
I’ll smile as you walk
all the way to death
Alone
It was Too early you got out your party dress
Now your all in black and that one’s there’s mascaras a mess
If you mourn so now
it’s only because
I walked in to assess
All the faces to show every one how I killed her, yes
Out of mercy not just for her but all
Who takes the fall
We shall see it?
Won’t we all?
clever, I said that once
Well won’t we all?
I warned and warned
No one heeded the call.
Against me seemed smarter
To become someone’s empty thrall?
Such a shame such a life killing stall
I heard those disgusting conversations said of this poor girl
Yes the ones not suppose to be heard.
She was better this way
If those were for her.
Come and stay.
You’ll find my world much more colorful now than ever
Not gray.
she wasnt even my shadow self
No I know that one well
I still have work to do in that one
I gotta stand up right where I fell
And not try to escape the depth of the well.
Come with me leave this jail.
This was
just a false, clone, twin walking around because
Apparently
Allegedly doing deeds of which id never be around
Or the acts horrid, and bound to someone’s twisted agenda and tall tale
Good thing I’m short and walked right under that spell
Oh but did you know?
it was even her, not me, that you cast to the ground
i just watched as you tried to abuse a golem
made from mud which you slang at them
I simply looked on quite astonished
I had already enemies alike admonished
And to try to call this?
disassociation?
or not wanting the blame
Stop right there
Oh I’ve got blame
but you see this is why your crowd and i will never be the same
i dont call anyone by name and i wish to live life without a scapegoat
to me if she dies its because i sail a ship and you gave her boat
except it was riddled with holes and sank
So i had the chance to retaliate but just by being myself and not crying hate.
she is no reflection of me, no but a piece of me, you strayed so far from my natural mistakes
we got a separate entity
but you took her soul so how could any believe it was me?
The soul I had can on its own breath.
this woman, this face without life
had no life, heart nor even eyes to see.
she is but a far stranger to me
a sad detriment to you
because the truth still walks very much quite free
and to myself ill always stay true
I still will always love most of all of you
Because some aren’t all to blame
Just talk and you’d be shocked at how I feel just the same
And some of you I’d just laugh and say whew what game!
The games we play
The flame
To untie to become tied
no wonder some of you look so sorrowful
for no one believed the lie more than you
i had to destroy her
fondation of sand
for hate is also a type of worship and you bowed in my name
To hate a false idol
So I at least
thought I’d make myself much more than undefinable
But mostly before I go I apologize for any that comes back upon thee
That must be some of your fear
For
all in this room can quite well agree
that the soul here without a soul
was only a myth you created of me.
CR.Stanger
2024
Wrote a fun poem. It’s for anyone who has ever been used as a scapegoat for someone else’s lies. And those lies create a life of their own. So big they create another person that’s not even detrimental to your character anymore because of how far it strays from your actual life and truth. For anyone in a competition they didn’t even know they were in. For anyone who isn’t willing to reverse the lies told about your life and would much rather let people find out for themselves or just let the truth speak for itself even if it takes years. This character has no need of social norms nor cares about how they are viewed because they know their own truth and know what kind of person they are and they are quite at peace with it as they know they are good to all. Maybe a little too good and forgiving. Never forgetful but always forgiving. I myself will let someone beleive something as long as it gives them pleasure to do ..so the higher you go the harder you fall. It can’t be considered my fault. How much you spread gossip and how much you believed idiocy. I blame the ravenous gossip hounds more than the person starting it. Really I do.
I’m where rumors go to die.
I refuse to spread anything. Chase is the only person i talk to freely. Everyone else just thinks I talk freely but really everything i say has a reason. It takes me 5 years to really trust someone and up until that point I would take everything I say as a test. I’ll seemingly tell you everything about my life but it’s bit outright false or anything that would be rude but sometimes it’s probably cushioned to make you feel better when you share something you are obviously uncomfortable with sharing. I’ll share something wild and it’ll be somewhat true but mostly it was to calm you. Like saying “see?” “I can’t be just as weird” ha so be careful before spreading it as when I hear it I know who spread it immediately and sadly it’ll be a version of what you told me and only slightly true. I am the the funeral guest here.
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