1964
Wrote this quite awhile ago now figured I’d just put it up. Loosely based
Silence is thought to be better
Than laying out the facts
Of what the offense is
Clues, leaving evidence of presence.
Is no voice, so no fact.
But crime against crime
Of everyone who decided they lacked
What made others seem strong
When indeed I do belong.
To the whispers of symbolism
What each knows is
Do not beleive lies of others
As well as accusations should not be uttered
A sentient word, a voice muttered
A trap was set
Some slip loose, some meet their deaths.
But it can die on the activated
Breathes
One takes to keep all hid
But what’s hid is not hidden.
And what’s hid without being hidden
How long should I guess a silent face
And connected dots
Should ever mean any possible proof
Lips snagged in a hiding tooth
Have others do it for you.
Have others commit your eyes
And others will tell your truth
Which truth
Have others touch me in false concern
It’s over
It’s burned
No attempt
Therefore
It’s his.
I give it away.
No longer yours
Try to lie and obscure sure
But no more
Will it work
Lurk
No more
Grave mistake
And I so wish you realized why
But foolish ego
I’ll leave you with yourself and I feel no pity, no pain, no anything.
I have greater hurt than you.
And it smothered out all you tried so hard to do
To prove
My mind will linger on a friendship in December
Sometimes I smile
Other times I realize the lie
But that’s the thing the lie I always knew but the plan was thrown off track
When you developed feelings you thought you lacked
Tell me that isn’t true
Remember when the Beatles came to America?
Of course you don’t but that day 58 years later
Take me back to that Tuesday night
You can pretend you can fight
Say it was all a lie
But that’s a lie
And you know it
It’s over
I’m over it
You Ever tried
And yet I hear you thinking
Trying to voice feeling
58 years later
I’m so sorry I rushed it
I had no clue it would mean anything
But no for that moment in time
A whirlwind
Something beyond anything we could understand
You thinking your regular patterns of using and being a play
Me thinking let me have some fun
Who cares when it’s done
That’s not how it played out
We both tragically turned about
With all the plans of anger and pain you made
And everything I said I didn’t care to trade
No.i still see you in all ive missed
You see me in all you meet
Remember
There is no relief
Familiar?
As it should be.
A glimpse of you
In all I do
When did it come to this?
Haunt me another lifetime
Bum of the sea
Flowing in water
The daughter of the water
The ruler in the sea
You threw away the truth
And I walked away from the lie but then we both grew
Now try to deny
Try to lie
Liar
I can’t believe you now
Don’t you hear it?
The words you wanna pretend were never real
The words I said I’d steal
We were both wrong
It’s in the song
Brand new
Rose
Pink
The way we rolled
We were just too old
But we were never cold
Unless we tried to be
Both sold
And both given a lie
We bought
It’s too much
It’s a lot
I have tears now
They finally came
Because now I realize
Nothing was ever the same
So yes it’s a shame
That hidden world in January
February march
Wasn’t what I thought it was
Leave the light on.
Don’t say things you don’t mean just to get me there
It never worked then
And it wouldn’t now
But leave the light on
Door unlocked
Back door or the front
I’m sorry I treated you unfair.
I didn’t know and I didn’t dare
Think hard enough to care about your ugly soul
But I didn’t realize I didn’t do the best to let you know
I just came to the realization
I’d do it again.
The lights on.
But I locked the door
You cannot ever score again
Not Anymore.
I swear the sun shined brighter than ever before.
Take your jacket off hide
Sleep it off by your side
As you played your stupid games
Such a short time to truly know you so well
And you never gave that the importance it deserved
But you do now don’t you?
I hear you
Don’t deny what I know
What you feel
What I show
I’m letting go
But I’ll hug you once more
Before turning around
And never looking back.
I can’t spread my energy like you do
It’s all for him or all for you
And I cannot choose you
Not anymore
You’re to full of your own desire
Your own fire
Your own importance
I never saw important
I was looking deeper than that.
What I liked was all you lacked
Because I had it in spades
With yourself on the pyre
You sacrifice what could’ve made you happy
Gave you true peace
I know your mind your soul and heart
But you cannot even give it a try
You gotta tear yourself apart
Before sitting down your ego
Drowning it
I’m sorry I just realized real love grew
But like the music we spoke through
Until it was fraud just to get what you wanted.
Then you did black things
because someone told you my name meant pain.
You believed fools
Tricked into hate
Love hate grew strong here
And a foolish fear
But they made you see anotherr
Me
You won’t get the call
I’m not sick and I’m not through
I’m not ill and I’ll never leave
I’m not destroyed
In fact I’m stronger than ever
Time after time
Cursed my name
And incantation
Will never save you
Your through
I’m through.
Goodbye
You know I’ll always be by my place by the river
You’ll remember me in the worst moments
As you grow older
You’ll remember
December
It was in this life we were suppose to deliver.
Remember me when you walk the world anew
Remember me and when I see you
I’ll Remember you.
We will never be through.
You know it
So do I.
Let them try
And you can pretend to save face
By pretending you feel nothing
And you feel hate
We both know it ain’t true
So I’ll see you.
When our skin is new
But our eyes are the same
Because they echo a soul
You were hurt too much to care in this life
I cared to much to avoid strife
Next time
You’ll recognize me
And I’ll recognize you
Even though you’ll never see this.
Just your foolish, clueless obsessive spies
Your eyes you tell lies too.
But I’ll recognize you.
When our lessons in this life are through
Family, friends
Things I know that you thought I didn’t.
Don’t you realize it never mattered
But I’ll recognize you
Next time.
I will miss our time in the cold
When we felt too old
But life said we must go
But scared already
Those mornings
Those walks
The smell
Haunts me
And you pretended
But I was looking past the acted script
You were told and bought to act
Because surprise
A wrench got thrown in the lies
You just didn’t know it
You do now
“I found a four leaf clover in my back yard”
I didn’t beleive you
But it’s somehow unimportant
You will never be through
I know this.
Sever flesh from bone
Written in stone
With blood flowing through us both
A kiss into a kiss
Your pretender kept dying in that kiss
I felt it die upon my lips
Until our scars melt remember it
That we were broken
All your script
To take back to her
Before me and after
But who will you remember
Like a whisper
Wasn’t the same this time
You recognized me
Tried to bind
Tried to blind
To control our uncontrollable force
Chair there
Sits
Oh god
Remember what i remember now
Got lies from the source
I was never anything but what you saw at first
But we were cursed
As we had been before
Can’t stay away and can’t stay together
Heavy as sin and light as a feather
I remember you well in a field of heather
The sun colder than our weather
Remember no not this time
But before
Who are you
I told you
This was bigger than our modern problems
Do what I do
I recognized you beyond all that foolish false and phony bliss
I could not be tricked
But you were real between the cracks
Of what you lacked
I wanted it to be wishful thinking
But no I can feel youre drinking
Could see you sneaking
Pushing away everything you were seeking
There was something true
A liar yes but you didn’t know what was happening behind the scenes
Even the eyes truly reading think they know best
And are clueless
Painful memories trumps false bliss
Remember I will when our eyes meet again in the next
You’ll see me
And I’ll see you
Under the light I left on for you
Only two
This time I’ll tell you true
But for now goodbye
Like so many times before
You know now
I felt the break through
And it made me feel what I thought untrue
Spell or truth
Doesn’t matter
This is me and this is you
I feel you through the fog
I hear you in the mist
Of a land waters exist
Overrun
Remember this.
I insist
Bloody catalyst
Healing narcissist
It matters not
For true is true
Hellish bliss
Held in my fist
Your eyes will recognize mine
Just like they did in this
I tell you now
That’s a promise.
—C.R.Stanger
