Escape
Escape such memories such times that I didn’t know I had to.. I didn’t know I had them. You make me want to. But can I?
A dream comes back to me.
The cold wind brought it home.
Why.
Longing for what I thought must go.
Try
But it’s a lie
Is it not?
2 weeks.
2 months
I’m free to choose
2 years now
I stayed to choose
To wander
To lose
Win
To learn
Discern
To talk to the wind
Fish will be fish
Goin where they wish
But
What I so wish.
leaving here is my final wish
To all Take a silent last kiss
Or should I stay and walk to their face
And tell them the truth
Their truth they fear
Sit behind bars for the gruesome tools of someone else’s abuse.
All I know is when I do.
See me never again
The people I hate most
The people I love most made few
And care I not for all they choose are
Themselves
And I refuse to sit on a shelf
Being the pretty thing of someone to peruse
The ugly thing for someone else to settle or run through
I’m
Done here
This enemy in form of a community
Sickens me
Shows me how great I can be
When looked on in a way I laugh instead of feel sting
All I need do is sing
It brings me water such fresh crystal from the spring
When i was suppose to flee.
Fashioned to be
Made to show
Me that I was not me
To bring me somehow lower
How could they not see
I don’t budge as I’m not a flower
Nor like fruit do I sour
But like marble unmoved
There still to help
To hold
To smooth
Over the tangles of your life
As I did my own
At the point of a knife
All toils and strife
Yes it’s mine is it not?
It’s my damn life.
I’ll carve a face in the stone
And summon it to me.
What all Light now shows
A future that was meant to happen
I close my eyes for it was not my desire
It just was meant to be
But course correction
I take my protection
I apologize
Closing tight pale blue eyes
Be done monitors
I stare at you daily
I used to care not
Have not
You’re really not clever
But now you grow lazy
I’ll leave here and never look back
Who should’ve come with me
Won’t have the chance now and lack
The mind to understand why they’ve wealth for a mansion yet sleep in a shack
Because they’ve ever misunderstood
what’s mine will always be mine
Yet the one who didn’t know
Why they didn’t
They never had a spine
Just wallowed around this unhallowed ground
I’m rather like the book on the shelf
Never cracked open
A spine that moves not
Is bent not
Locked
Until the right key lifts the hatch
I see there in the corner a door with a latch
And once shut
I’ll be like the dead
But smiling, living and unreachable.
Nothing here again will ever again be home.
Alone but not alone
Not stone just you and my own
My heart unreachable
For all but us
You and I
I took a key given back and I give it to thee
and you wear it on your neck for it is you who saved me
from such betrayal
Such ugly characters playable
I sifted through each one
Wondering which one would actually help this group of actors
But not you my quiet benefactor
Seeing me for me
As I saw me for me
We can laugh at this group of wretches
The time grows short
And I’m standing on the latch to a door
from a place I’ll never return
to this place I’ve wished for
never dreamt of before.
Let them have their empty dream
Let them float such a Hollow steam
On a raft to small to float 10
And even more
I don’t wanna be around when each sink
holding a hand out to save them
And I don’t want them to see each tear that befalls my cheek
As I move not a muscle but let them sink.
Moving closer to the brink
The water falls destroying those that would not drown.
The screams on the rocks silenced all sound
To this I refuse to be bound
I don’t wanna be here to see
Take me from here
Protect me
As I’ve had to protect me
No one has watched over me
Finally you have done what none else would
So it’s you only I take with me
A secret key
I did all I could for them but I’ll leave them the crown
They wanted it so badly.
I won’t be around so they can tell me how it didn’t fit and it was too heavy.
When breaks the levee
I went through the latch
The snap the last sound you’ll hear of me.
The string is snapped.
Though my heart is heavy
Fortune, love and fame favors not the bold but the smart, the wise
The quiet
And those who just do not give a damn, i do surmise.
Who even cares about such a prize?
Not these who revel in their winnings unwon
Being too blind what I imply
I’m gone with the wind.
Carried by lies.
Wait do I no longer to be awaken by a light unexpected
Though there have been a few tries
I’m awake now, and there will be travels
Whether by road or mental pathways
Unreachable still
Except in your eyes I’ll dwell.
Eyes I found so quickly when I wasn’t looking
Now i see what all it took
Yes we can leave upon the tide
Forget any who spies
They always thought themselves sly
Thursday yes?
Oh how many tries?
Leave slowly sure
Devoid of goodbyes.
A light is blinding and I’m awake
Yet I shake as
I’ll look back.
Just once more
Before slipping through the door
But the dark wanted to stay dark
So see what I seek I will not.
The sun will not rise
Before light becomes light
I close them softly
such pale blue eyes.
And none shall see the tear that falls with no cry
Whispering softly but surely
For it will be heard by all I need it to be
Yes A slow tear and no sigh
Just energetically from my mind
Pale blue eyes, all I never got admit, amend, shake hands and grin.
Mostly to never lay silent still again
Against that which felt my skin but within
I’m
Ready I stare up at you.
Yes I am, I suppose i am through
You’re too kind yes the dark dies
Of you’re asking asking if I am sure
But my heart knows not what but it hesitates why?
I do not even know.
It continues to grow
But worry not I can seek it
Yes I can forever it
But could you?
A look tasted?
Yes I suppose it is wasted
But something there remains
I so wish I could destroy it with a single kiss
Without being cruel
Just a single one to hold all love hate hello farewells
Alll mistakes all laughed all memories I wish now I could sell
Yes your right it’s simply the season
To creep up like that?
That must be the reason
It can’t be the voices I hear clearly in my blood, my heart and head
My soul.
It’s all nonsense
Yet it never grew cold
I apologize
I look to the skies
I’ll dry them and remember nothing
Closing my eyes
Tragic is it not?
A mental goodbye.
—CRS
