The Door.
A door slamming shut
Hey that’s no way to say goodbye.
https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=b-bJPmasXKs&feature=shared
That’s your answer.
Run away again?
Fine.
Over.
Done.
It’s only ever been you.
Through all the lies.
Deceit.
Manipulation of feelings.
Where you acted like a fool.
It’s only ever been you.
Look for me never again.
There is no one else
I’m seeing no one.
But someone waits.
I’m not truly interested in them for I’d have you back.
Here
Even just for a moment to speak.
Wouldn’t speak of the past
Still with all the hell caused.
I’d take you in.
But you made your choice.
You can’t be serious
I shouldn’t say such.
But forget trust.
You just had to have control
Instead of just speaking up.
I signed in blood.
Nothing to sign yourself?
Fine, I give it my ire
Show you how I easy I forget a liar
That signed?
I set it on fire.
I’m happy alone.
But only you id be happier with.
Not seen one since you.
Get a clue
Get out of your head.
I’ll speak to you one more time
And then all we are is dead.
Sabotage what could make you happy
For what makes you temporarily not sad.
Don’t lie you know that’s all it is
They were money dipped in glitter
And you fell in their trap.
I gave you an easy map
To leave such idiocy.
How could you lie to them that you hated me
You’re a liar and you know it
I know how you feel
But oh no that would mean relinquishing control
I give you my trust
I’ll trust you again
I’ll give you my anger
I’ll forget it
I’ll give you any pain
Because I feel happy again
Because I always knew how you really felt
The pain has yet to be much
But just not as the seasons change
That perfect song come on
And a memory puts me on my knees
It’ll pass.
I miss the time
I wish it was you.
Don’t you remember?
Lying or not.
Remember it.
I’ll start over
I’ll compromise
Because you mean so much?
No, because I believe in truth
I know me and you
Will never be done
It’s written in our veins
You felt the same
It was all fun and foolery
First
You thought I’d died of their Dr when I just wasn’t the same as the others
It’s about time you came to terms with that.
Your not just empty.
You have no sense
In the beginning yea me too
I was acting just the same
A game is a game
Until it isn’t
And when it wasn’t
You ran
To
Mediocre flames
All I did I did for you
Even knowing you spoke ill and lied about me to empty head crowds
Just to get a reaction
Damn, you really never grew up did you.
Last time I did that I was a freshman.
Or like the kid showing a playboy to his friends
Saying you knew that one on that page
Hoping they’d believe you again
But I don’t care I chose you
These others
Who only said they cared for you
Are liars with a motive
Haven’t you noticed?
Why they don’t want us to speak?
I know it’s not even you who reads these.
They think they are clever and I’m waiting for them to realize
I’ve been playing them along.
While I’m talking to you.
But go ahead
your status means everything.
But I can hear you I’ve heard you say my name
In quiet moments
I can hear you, you know.
Low in my mind
Let it go.
Start over
Show me
I give you my past
To forget..
No?
Then Over
Do not cause me any more confusion.
I know you think it gives you control over me to bring confusion
Sadly mistaken
I’m just waiting for the next great thing
You should recognize this tactic
Strategy is all you know
Lead with what you feel
And you’d be able to show
How you can’t kill
The light I gave you now flickering low
I’m about to whisper I let you go
And all that will remain is a single line of smoke that dissipates in the years you may have been truly happy
Truly fulfilled
But keep pretending
You’ll die with that very thought
And you’ll know what I was trying tell you then.
Your answer?
Laugh?
Well jesters laugh for the king they serve.
They have no nerve
Of their own
They simply have to pretend they don’t feel alone.
I’m telling you to get off the floor and sit on the throne
Do not let the birth of you and the one tied to you control you.
Can’t you see what they are doin to you?
If you’re here?
I’ll give you control even
But from that far away?
You are as the dead to me
I know all of what you have done
You don’t even have to confess
Unless it’s more of the same duress
The same stress I know not of yet.
Talk to me
Tell me the story
But a fight no more.
All Others over
For good
I know you like to have options
I forgot your a fraternity entity
Playing pool hoping others notice how many options you have
As if attention it can grab
Would feed you some sort of sense of worth
But you have not even seen your second birth
Wake up
Be what you are
Not a shadow of your sickened self
Not the one you put upon the shelf
Much to early.
These you trust now?
Don’t trust you.
Can’t wait to see what they give you in 30 more years
If you cannot see through your clouded eyes?
You have no power anymore
I’m walking out the door
And it’ll be as loud as the last time I saw you.
Goodbye.
The scissors are ready to cut the cord
And I’m not forcing you to do anything.
I would hope for your own sake you’d speak
Because that’s all I ever asked of you.
Stop being embarrassed
What’s done is done.
I hate that I will have to one day testify
To what I wish was just a lie
But isn’t
You speaking to me could’ve helped you immensely.
I beg you to make the right choice not for me
But for yourself.
I don’t care about anyone else.
It’s you or a distraction
Do you never disappoint yourself?
Don’t you wanna stand up and be more?
Meet up with me
Talk to me
Then let it be
I’ll walk my way
And you yours
You know that I’m sure
That I’m yours for life
But I have nothing behind my back
Not a trick nor a knife
Your so used to fearing from anyone who gets close
No you chose
Exactly the one who has secrets
Who would hurt you before they themselves
Got anything lethal
While I’d take a bullet
Sure I would for everyone
But for you?
I’d take on whatever came
Wrong choice
I’m slamming the door.
You have to remember
Narcissistic liars.
Even feel the reverberation
When the best supply they ever had
walks out the door.
So Forget it all.
Start over
You can even play the game again.
Come here with bad intentions
And I’ll even let you in again.
But until
I’ll keep my mouth shut and only speak good.
I’m telling you I’ll give up anything else
It’s only you
By the time is clicking
I’ve not a wish to force or coherce
It’s just all that we were in packing in a hearse
Setting it afire
Sinking it in the mire
Once gone it’s gone for all time.
Think well
I have the advantage as I know what this is.
You never knew this
Thought it was fancy
Oh no not even close
I do what I’m best at
The old can be renewed
And what a reunion it could be
Here show all the buddies you told about me being wrapped about your finger
Never I just saw the truth that
This is good news
You were right all along
Hope you’re proud of yourself.
Glad you can laugh with others and show others how cool you are about reading these.
Only fools agree
I can still hear you on the wavelength
The one you think is only there because you lied about it
Oh dear there are things much bigger than us
You’ll regret it I promise
I don’t want that for you.
I can hear you
And I know you feel alone
Come home.
Or speak. Now.
Or this is the last time I’ll say how
You mean the world to me.
Show them all you were so right.
Except you and I both know the truth.
Like a youth
You’d rather run and play hide and can handle the fight you think is your right
Your false light
You set all inside Shining not so very bright
But bright enough so it uncovered the lies told on me
Don’t care
I loved tv
And that love goes with you
And you know yours is here with me.
You have security here and always have
None but you
your the one out there sleeping around
Filling a void with nothing.
Because your broken
And refuse to lose face to come back to the one you lied about being broken
And I know all you’ve done
I say to you it’s Water under the bridge
Speak or the door will close and I’ll lock it forever.
This isn’t a threat
It’s just I can no longer let you come in and out.
After this there will be no other chance
Locked out for good
All I did in past I did for you.
It just took time.
You saw it as a crime against you
You won’t regret it
Til it’s too late.
Extinguish the hate you use to cover your real feelings.
When you start seeing pictures of me with other you’ll realize too late.
I’ve got a lock ad I’ve got a key
I don’t wanna slam the door
But what else can I do?
What else can there be?
You know you showed up just to manipulate emotion.
Oh I know you well
But it didn’t affect anything
Except I got the notion
This is foolish
So this is the last attempt I make.
Or I’ll say yes to what I’ve been saying no too
But it’s with you I grew
And continued to wanna learn.
Those memories haunt
Me
Call them
Fake
But The eyes don’t lie
You ever look at yours
Frozen there in time?
Lie about that?
You can’t
You didn’t act
You simply wanted To
You had no tact
That you had no lack
And your are a scarcity tactic all your own.
Didn’t show them those?
Us together close?
Did you tell them that?
Or do they need picture proof
Give it up.
Phony chivalry about children.
For once in your life do what makes you happy
And all else will fall in line
Don’t you see them?
The signs
We are aligned
for now
But not for long.
You used to have the key.
Do you know what it takes for me to be this vulnerable?
After what you’ve acted and done to me
Yet I’ve sacrificed pride to show you
You used to have the key.
Now I do and would give it back to thee.
Otherwise your locked from me
Forever.
Do you understand what that means?
You won’t care now
But not long?
We shall see.
I admit it was not way to say goodbye
But neither was yours
You lied and hide
I simply had to give you a goodbye that was never a goodbye
C.R.Stanger
