this is basically "im not a good person to ask for advice"
god carries a honey-soaked stake w… and his lovers scream at me to sto… to let him sink it into my chest,…
like a knife to flesh. phantom pain. a faint scar, but it’s jagged. wishing you’d come back and try ag… so i could step right into the kni…
i like dogs that bark and girls wh… yelling boys and little kids under… trying to figure out what to call… and always picking out “bones” or… i love animals and lovers with sca…
i am scared of you now, of this stranger who has taken you… those familiar eyes now watch me,… your loose hold now tight and the… this beast of grief has eaten you…
i miss being a kid when the saddes…
i’m not entirely sure i’m alive, s… saying that makes me seem crazy or… maybe i am, maybe it matters, but i don’t really think it does. you have your hands on my thigh.
when the ash settles down and you… wild and dancing, you see blackeni… you see the ending of it all and i… the way it dances and beckons you… the way you wish it would.
i love you and isn’t that it? isn’t that a slur? to say i love you, when your father spilled that
you go to touch me, and i bite your soft, warm fingers… then when you’ve left, i cry because i’m cold.
“be thankful to god for bringing y… god had no part in what i became o… he was a callous bystander, a watc… he watched me cry and then drowned… god watched me start wars and lose…
i water the roses and i shear thei… because what is beauty without adm… what is anything at all if you can…
i’m asking you to sunbake me, politely. i want to melt into the cracks, like earth-ending dinosaur juice.
i’m building sentences like lego w… but they just aren’t clicking. i’m trying to find just one way, t… the mindfuck i’m going through. it’s not clicking in their brains,
my bones scream to escape this ski… to tear through my flesh and force… then to let them dangle by their p… my teeth are too big to share this… and my tongue is too large to fit…
i am far more childish than i ever allowed myself to be